Becoming Home | Where To Begin
Becoming Home is a series about how to take a dwelling from house to home; a guide with measured steps to get from here to there.
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When we think of home, we often think of the home that’s tucked into our dreams; that one-day house that has all the right things, all the right spaces, and all the right feelings. One day, maybe, we say. One day. Some day. Almost as if we’ve put living on hold, keeping it packed up, waiting for then, for there, in that some-day house.
Let’s consider this: Whether by mortgage or by rent, you have a home right where you are. Right now, you don’t have another. Wait, you say. Are we never to dream of a dwelling other than the one in which we currently live? No, Loves. But, let's not gallop ahead toward something that might take right now away from us. For as much as you might wish your home to be one way or another, the truth is, this structure, this frame, this canvas, right now, is home. It is wood, steel, stone, and glass that together make up a shelter for you. It is the largest member of your family, and it plays a significant roll. Like us, it has both strengths and deficiencies. Like us, it sometimes needs to be reminded of both.
For it is only in the knowing that our strengths can flex and our deficiencies be reinforced.
Let’s adjust for a moment, then, so we can better see just what it is that we most likely already have. There is a roof that deflects both sun and storm and there are windows that exchange light and view. There are walls that enclose and walls that divide. There are ceilings that reach over two feet taller than the average man. There are multiple rooms designated for daily activity, many of whose entirety is given for a single purpose. There are passageways from room to room. There are multiple faucets from which both hot and cold water flow. There is heating and cooling automatically instructed by a thermostat to maintain a climate of comfort inside. There are miracle switches everywhere; flip them on and lights shine.
You’re home has all of this.
Of its deficiencies? Simply take note. Begin there. Angsty emotions toward your home’s contrary tendencies will do little in shoring them up. But taking note of them does. It’s the beginning. It’s an opening of a plan, a first step toward solutions. In doing this, you begin a soul-to-soul conversation between you and your home and suddenly, what may have been deficiencies, are now opportunities.
Choose a notebook, blank inside. Label it Home. Turn to the first page, write the date and your home's address, and begin two columns: Strengths and Deficiencies. Going by room, fill in below with any word that’s true. Leave space to fill in more, because there will be more. Carry on this conversation with your home over days, weeks, months, seasons. Settle in and pay attention to how you live there.
Uncover the things you’ve not yet seen.